VOLUME VII – CHAPTER 7
HELP THE TEACHERS AND PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND CHILDREN DURING THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF THEIR GROWTH IN LIFE
The Principal’s duty is not just to administer but help the teachers and parents to know their children at different stages of growth in their lives even as we observe the growth of a tree by its rings or as they sprout, bear leaves and fruits.
We don’t understand the speech, language and words of a child entering Pre K.G. But it sees, observes, thinks and tries to express and expects us to understand its expressions and emotions and react to them positively. It will help you to understand them if you read the three books of Arnold Gesell – The child from 1 to 5, 6 to 10, 11 to 15. What the child thinks and how he thinks, these books will help you know.
The author had a great learning experience at the age of 77 when he visited his son at Chicago, USA. His granddaughter aged 3 years (running 4th year) living in the 9th floor sees daily the nearby airport where many planes land and take off daily. She goes to the Supermarket with her parents and in the Car park she sees many cars parked. One day she asked the father in her own lisping language:-
‘Can our Toyota fly?’
Father said: “No. It can only move on the road.”
Child : If you put the aeroplane engine inside the car,
Will it fly?
Father : Our car’s speed is not enough for that engine.
Child : Then if you put it inside Ferrari speed car, will it
Fly?”
See how the child thinks. At the age of 3 the author did not think like this because his exposure to the outside world of sound and vision was not that much as his grandchild.
The language and words of all adolescents appear strange and queer to the elders. So they don’t want to understand them.
a) Avoiding punishment:
If a child doesn’t see the consequences of his misbehaviour, he is less likely to learn his lesson. Set penalties related to the infraction.
b) Playing the therapist:
Children learn when parents are decisive.
c) Misusing rewards:
A reward used to stop misbehaviour is a bribe.
Use rewards only to reinforce behaviour after the fact.
Help your child to identify the internal reward – a feeling of satisfaction.
d) Avoid disagreeing in the open:
Settle your disagreements in private and make sure both of you are in agreement on general guidelines for homework, chores and bedtime, plus prohibitions against hitting, stealing and lying.
Compromise on issues about which your partner feels strongly or give each parent authority in different realms.
e) Assuming the worst:
Focus on the action, not the person. Avoid the word ‘always’ (you always leave your shoes around) and ‘never’ (your never keep your room clean)
Instead, phrase corrections in specific terms, such as “you forgot to put away your shoes.”
Let the child know you believe he could meet your expectations even if he didn’t at that time.
If your child is having problems, first listen to his point of view. Your support will help him calm down and look at the situation rationally. When the children know that you are with them, they will feel and behave better.
It is important for the parents and teachers to understand both the levels and should make an earnest attempt to understand.
If we try to change ourselves and get down to their levels then we can understand them.
The great American Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “If you want to understand Buddha or Napoleon you become them.”
The student thinks very high of the teacher when he understands that the teacher’s thoughts are of a higher order, and then he sees the teacher as a great person. When the pupil knows to respect himself he will start respecting the teacher. This is the secret of a student. Make your teachers find out this secret.
Dolls are of different types-made of bee wax, wood, paper, stone, clay metals (iron) bronze, silver, gold, marble, panchaloka, Ivory, sandalwood and herbal medicines.
The bee wax doll will melt away. The wooden doll may be soft or hard. The paper-mache doll will be light in weight, but disappear if it becomes wet. The stone doll will be heavy and may break. The clay doll may get dissolved in water. The metal doll is used for worship. The bronze doll is for decoration. Dolls made of silver, gold and sandal wood, publicize your wealth and status. The marble doll will be beautiful to work at. The Panchaloka doll is fit for worship and costly. The doll made out of herbal medicines will have powerful vibrations.
All these various types of dolls will be found in the classrooms. Help your staff to identify them each. It is also important to find out what type of doll the pupil thinks he is.
During childhood, the child though knows itself is unable to proclaim itself – a silent doll.
During boyhood, he is a playful doll who loves recreation.
During adolescence he is a selfish doll. Help your teachers to identify them and transform them into developing dolls.
TEACH THEM THE ART OF ROOT- AWAKENING
Make teacher a gardener. When a gardener works on a plant around its root, he should see that he doesn’t cut the roots or pluck them out lock, stock or barrel.
Gardening is nothing but root awakening. The child’s mind is the base root. Tell the teacher that when he works around it with a tool called ‘Thinking’ he should be careful to see that no harm comes to the base root.
Frogs will live both in water and on land. Frogs will lay eggs only in water.
In the class teaching and learning may take place and also sometimes fun and frolic may be found there.
Students are like frogs. Even if they come occasionally to the ground of gaiety, they should again get into the water of learning.
Frogs (students) can lay eggs (new ideas) only in water (lesson time).
Help your staff to make their ‘frogs’ lay eggs.
The frog can never hide itself. It reveals its place to the snake by its sound. The snake will not and need not search for the frog. It is the frog which identifies itself.
The student frog should identify himself to the teacher through his doubts and Inquisitiveness. The teacher has to understand his urge, seek him and embrace him in his intellectual hug.
~~~~~
VOLUME VII – CHAPTER 8
THE FAMOUSLY BAD
FAILURE IS NOT THE END OF THE JOURNEY
It is an irony of life that those who can write well cannot speak well and vice versa. Only very few can combine both. Similarly on a class we may find some academically brilliant, even top of the class in MBA or IIT. But some of them don’t somehow shine well in life. Why?
It is not necessary that one has to be very good in bookish knowledge to prosper in life. May be it will be useful to some extent. But practical knowledge, experience, gut feeling intuition, softy skills – all these contribute to one’s success.
Not being able to achieve the conventional academic success sometimes leads one to take the fatal decision as if that is the key to success in life. Worry about their numbers in the mark sheet makes them become a suicidal statistic. They are the victims of the burden of expectations thrust upon them by their parents.
This is not an argument against academic excellence but a call to look at educational achievement with a sense of proportion. Let us help children feel that while they should strive for excellence, they need not look at failure as a catastrophe.
A new terminology has come into vogue – “HELICOPTER PARENTS’ – the very same people who rejoice at their child’s ‘Arangetram,’ prize in a rhyme contest, start hovering over every aspect of the child’s life – doing their homework, project etc. and priding their success as their (parents) achievements.
We find parents dubbing the child as ‘average’ if he does not make it to Medical or Engineering – A Bombay student Mahesh Murthy dropped out of engineering to blossom as a venture capitalist. He says, “I was brought up to believe that there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I now believe that the rainbow itself is the pot of gold. All that we have is the journey, “Forget about topping the class, toppers don’t end up anywhere important in life,” a sane advice.
Some parents want schooling without its pressures for their child. They become like Devendranath Tagore who felt that way and had his son Rabindranath educated at home. He was none the worse for it. He got the Nobel prize!
Place before the children the examples of the so called ‘academically backward’ students who went on to make it big in life.
Rajender Gupta, CEO of Trident Textile Group in Ludhiana left school after Class IX.
Today the group’s turnover is Rs 3,000 crore. In Punjab he is a copy-book example of entrepreneurial success. He says, “Academics equip us with knowledge,” but it is our experience that gives us wisdom.
Anupam Kher failed in Class I but today is a famous actor. His poor academic record never stood in his way of success. He says, “Academics is not important. 90% of those who come from smaller towns have a natural intellect that comes from life. That is why you see so many success stories from these places.”
R.Chenray Jain left school after class VIII. He is today the chairman of Bangalore-based Jain Group of Institutions. Jain, who started working in a super bazaar @ Rs.75/- p.m., today heads an educational empire.
Akbar, The Great who was the greatest of the great Mughals, couldn’t even write his name. And the empire was none the worse for it.
Abraham Lincoln, born in a Kentucky log cabin to impoverished parent’s had his formal schooling only for 18 months. He said, “When I came of age, I did not know much. Still somehow I could read, write and cipher………. But that was all largely by self taught. He joined politics before becoming a lawyer.
Thomas Edison’s Official schooling ended when the teachers described him “addled.” He was home – schooled by his mother.
Richard Branson, Chairman of the Virgin group was dyslexic, a poor academic performer, but had a knack of connecting with people, launched his first successful business venture, Student Magazine at 16.
Walt Disney, dropped out of school at 16 to join the Army, but was rejected for being under-age. Began his artistic career after stint with Red Cross and won 20 Oscars and 7 Emmy Awards.
Milton Hershey dropped out after 4th grade. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate became the first nationally marketed chocolate in the U.S.A.
Subash Chandra, the media baron, dropped out in XII and launched his first venture, a vegetable oil unit at 19.
Dhirubbai Ambani, who didn’t complete Matriculation, had no mark sheet to show, but a million shareholders swore by his balance sheets.
A.R. Rahman studied till Class XI, later took his Trinity School of Music exams and went on a Fellowship to Cambridge University.
Sachin Tendulkar, the boy wonder from Mumbai’s Sharadashram Vidyamandir scraped through Class X and left Class XII halfway as the runs piled up.
Kishore Byani, CEO of the Future Group, ranked 20 in a Class of 35, is regarded now as the man who pioneered the retail revolution in India.
Tell the students that what made all these people great was their conquest of fear. This victory let them to conquer everything. Failure consists only in our imagination and we are afraid of defeat because we are afraid others will make fun of us. All great people have failed at one stage or other of their lives. From that they learnt what is possible and what is not. From that they understood their own plus and minus points and that knowledge increased their determination to win.
Failure and success are relative terms. 80% may be a common place thing for a brilliant student, when the author congratulated his grandson for getting the first rank, the boy just said, ‘Why congrats, this is the usual thing for me.’ For another, say 80% may look like Mt. Everest. A boy who failed in Class V later on went abroad for a Management Degree, returned and became the Chief Administrator of a very big hospital. Another boy who failed in Class VIII and got the minimum in Class X exam because of his love of cricket later became a big executive in a software Company in U.S.A. and finally became an American Citizen.
The author’s daughter-in-law, Mala used to tell him, “I don’t want my son to get the first rank. I will be happy if he comes within the first six. But I want him to be an all rounder.” She got him trained in Music, Swimming, Tennis, Cricket and Shuttlecock. She sent him on Trekking expeditions, helped him to become independent, and learn how to build relationships, learn about human behaviour and social dynamics and he was quite high in studies also. She made him understand that there are lessons to learn outside the classroom also.
UNDERSTAND THE “HUMAN COST” OF FAILURE
Our educational system trains children to conform to a pattern, to a routine and not to be a person of a unique performance. It doesn’t train children to think that any problem, any disappointment or any rejection or unsuccessful attempts should not be dubbed as failures. This idea was instilled in the minds of the author by his uncle. In 1951 when the author wrote his Economics Honours Exam of the Madras University (equal to M.A.) unfortunately he lost the First class by a whisper. He wanted to go to USA on a Full Bright Scholarship for his Ph.D. But though he got the first rank in II Class, since technically he was not a first class graduate, he could not apply for it. But his uncle told him, “I know you are not a second class person. You are first class. Perhaps God does not want you to go to USA as a student but as a Professor (Full Bright Scholar) after some time. Equip yourself to become eligible for that honour on the basis of your work. Definitely you will go after a decade.”
The author went to USA in 1961 as a Full Bright Scholar – as one of the 20 Professors selected from Teachers’ Colleges all over India.
Your success depends on how you dealt with your failure earlier – did you treat it as a stone wall or a stepping stone? Victory depends on your perception of failure as deferred success. “Where you give up, you fail. When you persist, you succeed.” That is all.
Though the poor see education as an opportunity to go up the ladder, they are forced to drop out as the family needs their hands to earn. Also the little ‘teaching’ and less ‘learning’ that go on in the class is another reason for drawing the children out of the school. Since there is none to discover their talents, they don’t have any motivation to get along with the meaningless exercise called schooling which is an ordeal – endless hours of written work, chastised for conversing, restrained from playing, finding it different to learn a new language and finally the bogey of an examination at the end of the year which tries to test in 3 hours what they have learnt in 365 days. Mindless rote learning, poor reading habits, lack of training to think, compulsion to accept the Text Book as truth, when the school uses a promotion rule after the Annual Exam, a child is detained because he has failed in one or two subjects according to the school’s Yardstick. But he has passed in the remaining four subjects – No credit is given to that. His future is decided not on what he knows but on what he does not know! This firm rule has a “Human Cost” – lots of children who can be valuable to the Nation are wasted.
At the same time the school has to take care of ‘Prodigies’ also. There should be special ‘high-fi’ schools which would welcome with open arms and mould them. This is a responsible educational attitude. Bronx school in New York and Shreyas at Ahmedabad cater to such children.
Persons whom we think are very extraordinary don’t succeed while those with lesser capability do succeed – why. Is it fate? No. Fate is what they have rewritten by themselves. What are the reasons for the former not succeeding?
They did not persist till they smelt success. They did not concentrate on the same goal. They became grass hoppers. And they blame their fate for their failure. But people who succeeded did not commit these mistakes. You have some examples to show to the students.
The Mathematical genius Pascal defied his father’s advice to become a lawyer. The father locked him up in a room full of law books – but found him writing Mathematical theorems. He removed all books and papers related to mathematics from his room. But Pascal started writing on the floor with a piece of charcoal. In the early days other mathematicians didn’t approve his findings. But later when he persisted with his work the world recognized him.
Bernard Shaw daily wrote in his younger days at least 5 pages even though he was doing some other work for his living. In the first 9 years he did not even get remuneration for his writing which could cover his expenses for paper, ink and postage. But unmindful of all the rebuffs he continued writing. Today the literary world is quoting him.
~~~~~
ONE WHO KNOWS (VOL VII – CHAPTER 7 & 8)
(DIMENSIONS OF THE LIFE AND WORK OF A PRINCIPAL)
779) One who tells his staff that in every seed a forest is hidden and a promise of potential.
780) One who advises his students that success is in the big things and happiness is in the small things.
781) One who knows that his communication should be both a science and showing perfect integration of words and pauses.
782) One who advises his student that –
Who you are, is character
What the society feels
About you, is reputation.
783) One who knows that if he is
“Stressed with responsibility
He can’t respond with responsibility.”
784) One who advises his staff that they should do 80% of the work in 20% of the time and not do 20% of the work in 80% of the time.
785) One who knows that the better he is the more effective he can be at the top and the more useful he can beat the top.
786) One who knows to stop looking at others or looking over one’s shoulders, one who is not restricted by the modesty of his dreams or the poverty of his aspirations and one who doesn’t try to benchmark with others but be the benchmark.
787) One who tries to achieve excellence with simplicity, tries to see if he can do something better at a lesser cost.
788) One who knows that his business is not to create a school of numbers (Pass percentage) but send a group of students with a set of values at the end of plus two.
789) One who builds his school with a small soul and a big body.
790) One who knows to comprehend the mischief makers in the staff, understands their psychological make-up, interacts with them, and then develop antidotes to them.
791) One who has psychological sensitivity as well as sociological sensitivity.
792) One who trains his students to turn their handicap to advantage.
793) One who asks his students:
Why does the food ball gets knocked so badly by all?
Who is at fault – the ball or the player?
The ball – if it were not so full of air it would never get kicked.
So (He advises them) be modest that will reduce jealousy.
794) One who knows that if one reaches the top, he should stay just, show courage and dispense justice.
795) One who know that even though his principle may weaken him at some time or his values may straight jacket him, he has to remain steadfast.
796) One who always asks
“What can I learn to-day, that I didn’t know before”
As Donald Trump advised.
797) One who knows that he can’t be insecure and try to be a great leader and that insecurity will make him to compete with his own people.
798) One who knows that he can find his life, “In the dance between his deepest desire and his greatest fear.”
799) One who knows to budget the school’s finances as if it were his own money.
800) One who knows that “Compassionate love” will lead to greater staff engagement, staff satisfaction and staff productivity.
801) One who knows that he should ask questions for which he doesn’t yet know the answers and ask questions that can help him understand the problem in away other people hadn’t understood it.
802) One who becomes more observant about the school’s work processes and things in the daily routine which he doesn’t notice much.
803) One who is not impatient to find answers for his questions as quickly as possible.
804) One who knows that some annoying questions may end up being a positive force in his life and give him something to strive for.
805) One who knows to choose the “Language that would stir the hearts of his audience,” as Martin Luther King Jr. Did.
806) One who knows to manage his emotions and at the same time spark up the emotions that will move the audience to action.
807) One who knows to hone up his body language to enhance its emotional effects and is a spell binding ‘Public Speaker.’
808) One who adopts and adapts the strategic questions which D. Shivkumar, C.E.O. of Pepsi India posed to himself.
a) Where will we play?
b) How will we win?
c) What resources are needed to win?
d) How will the institution look 5 years ahead?
e) What advantages do we have?
f) What are the risks?
g) What is a left – field threat?
h) Where are we winning?
i) Why are we winning?
j) Why are we losing?
k) What is our growth vs. Last quarter?
l) What is our growth vs. Last year?
m) Are we going faster than others?
809) One who follows the advice of David Ogilvy – Ad Guru, who said:
“When Aeschines spoke they said:
How well he speaks?”
When Demosthenes spoke they said:
“Let us march against Philip”
And has decided to be a Demosthenes.
810) One who knows that the way one sees the world depends on how he has been raised.
One who has studied both Ramayana and Mahabharata and internalised the sublime truth.
Rama went to the forest as a disciple of Sage Viswamitra, slept on the ground without the servants or guards watching over his safety and welfare, surrounded by the howling and roaring of animals, birds and reptiles and he had to fend for himself.
His psychological impact was he learnt about survival, fear, attackers, strategy and working together. He returns fully fit to rule.
In Mahabharata Pandavas were born in the forest. Return to the forest to study under Dronacharya and Next when their new palace was burnt and last when they gambled away their Kingdom in the dice game.
They learnt what it means to have nothing which produced skill and compassion.
One who knows that B.Ed. or M.Ed. does not prepare a teacher to the grim realities of the field – The School.
810) One who knows that empowerment helps in creating a leadership pipeline enabling faster decision-making down the line.
811) One who knows to maintain the underdog mentality as that would negate complacency from the system and help create an aggressive and winning outlook.
812) One who knows the way to connect with people, has a great sense of humour, has a style which completely puts the other person at ease, is completely transparent in his dealings, makes working fun, without compromising on the results.
813) One who knows to find out the grey areas where people can cheat and constantly tries to what extent he can change people’s behaviour from his perspective.
814)One who can recognise the “BY STANDER EFFECT”, when individuals don’t intervene or offer help in an emergency situation.
815) One who knows to find out if irregularity is episodic or endemic.
~~~~~
EMINENT THINKERS (VOL VII – CHAPTER 7 & 8)
(Whose ideas have been adapted for Education Management)
Daniel Kahneman
548) Christian Mads M Jerg
549) Susan Cairns
550) Thara Ganesan
551) Prof. Ranjan Gulati
552) Shunryu Suzuki
553) Inder Malhotra
554) Robert Card
555) Robert Pollack
556) Daniel Kahneman
557) Mark Young
558) Erich Fromm
559) Terry Eagleton
560) Kityar Row
561) Dr. Victor Frennie
562) Krishna Kumar
563) Avery Wolf
564) Steve Jobs
565) William Dalrymple
566) Yuvaraj Singh
567) Milka Singh
568) Andre Agassi
569) Rafael Nadal
570) Ayaz Menon
571) Saptarishi Sarkar
572) Prabhu Deva
573) K.P. Mathur
574) Kate Brittlebank
575) Karthik Nair
576) Walter Isaacson
577) Edith Wharton
~~~~~
WHEN Avatars come, they choose the time and the place, clan and the family, and they decide and bring the comrades and the coworkers. When Rama came, Sesha, Sankha, Chakra and other inseparable adjuncts of the Lord also incarnated; they also came down in order to taste the sweetness of the Lord’s company and service. Rohini, under which Krishna was born, is related to the attainment of Yogic success and the powers that flow from it.
– Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
